so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
