I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
