It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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