Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
