Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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