Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
