but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
