I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dear god my vagina.
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