Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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