just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
