In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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