Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
