If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
People in love make me want to vomit
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
