WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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