I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
