I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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