Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
