Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
