We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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