peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
