I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
