Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Even my vagina gasped.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
