I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
