I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize