I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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