it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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