This is not my ceiling
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
