well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
