Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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