what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
