i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
