we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
