dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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