genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
