is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
