I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
