i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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