The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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