; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
