so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
