My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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