hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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