how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
