Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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