where am i from again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
