We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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