just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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