i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
