Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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