why didn't you poke me back
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
